I went into Rhett’s birth with zero birth plan.  I wasn’t quite sure what to expect about labor and delivery, since this was my first baby.  But what I did know was that I was going to be open to whatever came our way, trusting that God was going to show us what decisions to make, and ultimately keep us both safe and healthy!  At our 35 week appointment, my doctor brought up the idea of scheduling an induction. He told me that often women who are petite like me end up very uncomfortable toward the end (honestly who doesn’t though?!), and they wish they would have scheduled earlier.  He told me that if I scheduled it, I could always cancel should I decide that I wanted to go into labor naturally.  So, before I left his office, I was scheduled to be induced on Friday, January 4, 2019.

Daniel and I prayed it about it a lot leading up to that date, and sure enough I got more and more uncomfortable as it approached.  The week before our induction was scheduled, I had pretty much made up my mind that I was going to go through with it.  We had our final appointment scheduled for January 3, to check how far I was dilated and make sure everything was a-go for the next day!  I felt a little guilty for electing an induction without a real “reason” and was concerned the baby wasn’t ready.  My doctor assured me he would be plenty big enough and that there was absolutely nothing to be concerned about.  Daniel and I both went to the appointment, and it was surreal to walk out knowing it had been my last prenatal appointment!

Since I was dilated to 2cm in his office, they ended up telling me to go to the hospital late that night to get medication that would soften my cervix and hopefully get labor going on its own.  Daniel and I made reservations at our favorite steak restaurant that night as our final date night just the two of us.  It was so special and we were so excited!  We talked about how crazy it was that we were hours away from being parents (little did we know how many hours…).  After dinner, we went home, grabbed our bags, and left for the hospital. Daniel would like me to mention that I did do (a tiny) bit of work before we ran out of the house.  But hey, when you love what you do, you can’t help it!

On our way, we called our birth photographer to let her know.  She ended up driving down that night just in case things went quickly and stayed in a nearby hotel.  Daniel and I arrived at the hospital around 11:30pm, and got all checked into our room. They immediately had me change into a hospital gown and we took a few last photos of my big belly!

The nurse came in and gave me the medication to soften my cervix and hopefully help me dilate further. The first pill was a suppository (meaning they inserted it).  She said she would come back around 4am to check my progress and give me a second pill of the same medication to swallow if I hadn’t progressed.

Four in the morning rolled around, and I was still 2cm, so I took the second pill and went back to sleep. A new nurse came in around 7:30am to wake me up, and checked me again.  Still 2cm….ugh.  Just thirty minutes later, my doctor showed up and broke my water.  And even though I didn’t have a birth plan, my goal was to let the whole process happen as natural as possible and use medical intervention when needed and advised.  I asked him if it would be okay if we waited to start Pitocin to see if my contractions would happen naturally after he broke my water.  He told me that we would know right away, and within a minute I was having my first contraction!  I also asked him how long he thought it would be before I delivered, and he said, “No idea. Could be this morning, could be hours from now.”  To which I asked, “Today for sure though?” and he responded, “Oh, definitely today.” Little did we know…

Before he left, he said that as long as my contractions stayed consistent and I kept making progress, there would be no reason to start Pitocin and I could labor as naturally as I wanted to.  So, from 8am to 10am I had contractions that were 2-3 minutes apart and consistently strong!

Because I wasn’t on any medication, they didn’t require me to be hooked up to and IV fluids or constant monitoring.  I could remain off the monitors for 40 minutes every hour, so Daniel, my mom, and I walked the halls.  I would lean on Daniel and squeeze my mom’s hand through every one, but was managing fine. As long as I was able to walk or bounce on a birthing ball, the contractions were super uncomfortable, but manageable.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance, and was definitely close to my limit, but I figured that if I was making good progress it would be enough encouragement for me to keep pushing forward with a natural birth.

At 10am, the nurse wanted to check me again and I had progressed to 5cm!  I was so excited and encouraged with that progress and decided to keep laboring on my own.  More walking, more bouncing.  The contractions remained about 2-3 minutes apart and consistently strong.  She wanted to check me again at noon, and when she did I was pretty discouraged that I was only at 6cm.

The contractions were getting more difficult to get through and I could feel my body almost resisting and tensing up every time one would come.  The nurse encouraged me that they would check again in 2 hours, and I could still continue on my own if that was what I wanted.  She did warn us that my doctor may advise us to start Pitocin if I hadn’t progressed by the next time she checked me.

I was discouraged, but open to whatever way it was going to go.  I just wanted to make sure I gave it my best shot before adding in my intervention. We decided to continue laboring naturally, and my contractions started to slow down and become irregular.  I would have a few contractions 2-3 minutes apart, and then I would have them 5 minutes apart.  They decreased in strength, but I was in so much more pain and having a way harder time pushing through each one.

At 2pm, I hadn’t progressed at all and she said if anything I was closer to 5cm now, rather than 6.  I was super discouraged and asked her to ask my doctor’s opinion as to what to do.  She came back in the room and told me he advised we start Pitocin to get my labor going again.  Up until that point, I was managing the contractions by walking, bouncing, and standing/leaning against something.  If I sat in the bed, the contractions were exponentially more painful and I could barely stand it.  The nurse advised me that once we started Pitocin, I would need to stay in bed.  At that point I knew that I wanted an epidural. My goal with my whole labor was to go as natural as possible, until I couldn’t.  But ultimately, to enjoy the experience.  I knew increasing the strength of my contractions with Pitocin, combined with the fact that I was going to have to be stuck in bed was going to be miserable if I didn’t get an epidural.  Daniel and I decided it would be best to get one and enjoy the process, and at 4:30pm the anesthesiologist showed up.

They had started Pitocin 30 minutes earlier, and had already increased my dose from a 1 to a 2.  They can up the medication every 30 minutes (up to a dose of 20), as long as the baby doesn’t seem to be under stress.  I asked my nurse what the average level women had to be administered to keep their contractions regular and consistent up to delivery, and she said between 6-8.  By the time I delivered, I was at a 16.

Getting the epidural was the scariest part of the entire labor process.  At that point I had been in labor for 8 ½ hours, was dilated to 6cm, and having strong, consistent contractions.  When they insert the epidural, you have to hold extremely still, and right as the anesthesiologist told me to “hold extremely still,” I had a huge contraction. I was so scared that I don’t think I moved an inch for fear I would be paralyzed.  He made a comment about how impressive it was and I told him that if I wasn’t scared to death, I probably wouldn’t have held that still…haha!

About 15 minutes later, I felt SO MUCH RELIEF.  Bless the anesthesiologists that administer epidurals.  At this point, I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the experience.  Our families came in and got to hang out and wait with us. A little while later, my epidural stopped working on my right side and I was in pain again.  Epidurals work with gravity, so as long as I stayed rotated on my right side, I was able to avoid the pain.  (Thankfully this wasn’t an issue while I was pushing and had to be on my back!)

They checked me a few more times, and increased my Pitocin every half hour. My contractions never returned to being regular and kept the same abnormal cycle.  I would have one, and then a minute and a half later have another, and then a five minute pause before another.  It kept up like this the rest of the time I was in labor, all the way up through delivery, no matter how high the Pitocin was increased.

Finally at 11pm, I was at 10cm…COMPLETE!  However, I had gotten a lot of advice from girlfriends to not push until I felt significant pressure and the urge to push.  I was exhausted from laboring all day at this point and asked if I could take a nap.  You should have seen the shock on my mom’s face!  She was so ready to meet the baby and couldn’t believe that I would want to wait anymore!  I didn’t want to be pushing for hours on end and become more discouraged, so I figured waiting couldn’t hurt.  At this point, nothing was going “on schedule” anyways.

Daniel and I both fell asleep fast!  I remember the nurse coming in and letting me know it was midnight and time to start pushing, and I felt like I had been asleep for 10 minutes.  I was so exhausted!  She was setting everything up as I am trying to fully wake myself up for what I was about to do, and I am yelling over to Daniel to try and wake him up…haha!! Both of us were out cold.

She had me do a few practice pushes, and all I could remember thinking was how I couldn’t feel what I was doing at all.  Throughout the whole pushing process, they would tell me, “Okay, another one just like that!” and I remember thinking, “Like what?!  I have no idea what I just did.”

They only have you push while you’re having a contraction, and because mine were so irregularI would often have to wait 5 minutes in between pushes.  I could still feel the pressure every time I had a contraction and knew when they were coming, so with the start of each one, I would breathe and then push for 10 seconds, 3 times.

I think the thing that shocked me most about labor was how calm and notchaotic the pushing process is.  This is probably because I had an epidural, but the movies make it so much more dramatic than it was!  There were only a couple people in the room and other than the worship music Daniel had playing and the nurse counting, it was calm and quiet!  They asked me if I wanted a mirror about an hour into pushing, and I did.  Let’s just say it was an absolutely insane thing to watch your body do that!

At about 2am and two hours of pushing, his head was crowning and they called my doctor!  Daniel and I both looked at each other and I asked him, “When is this actually going to feel real?!  It hasn’t even hit me that I’m about to have a baby!”  I kept wondering when that reality was going to sink in, as I was literally minutes from meeting him and it still felt surreal.

My doctor arrived around 2:20am, and I kept pushing.  Around 2:45am, his head was almost out and I had another contraction.  I did the series of three pushes and his heart rate started to drop.  I heard it on the monitor, and I could tell my doctor was watching it closely.  He said, “Okay, his heart rate is dropping too low.” And he pushed him back in.  Daniel didn’t say anything at the time, but he was so frustrated because he said it took me about 15 pushes to get him to the point he pushed him back to.

Meanwhile, I was pretty quiet, and extremely stressed until I heard his heart rate pick back up.  I asked my doctor what we were going to do (we were on one of my 5 minute contraction breaks).  He said we could try and use a vacuum if he didn’t come out on the next push.  Honestly, at that point I was not even a little bit scared of any intervention, I just wanted my baby out safe…and now.

I made up my mind that I was going to get him out on the next push, but wasn’t quite sure how that was going to happen since I couldn’t feel anything and wasn’t even sure how to replicate any of the effective pushes I had up to that point.  I was pretty quiet (because I was so afraid), and silently said a prayer asking God to give me strength and help me get him out on the very next set of pushes.

Sure enough, the next contraction came and I pushed as determined as I could.   I remember my mom and Daniel both making comments like “Oh my goodness…here he comes,” and by the middle of the second push, at 2:52am Rhett was born.

They immediately put him on my chest, and the reality finallyhit me that I had a son.  It was such a surreal moment and one I will remember forever.  His first little cries were the sweetest thing I’ve heard, and I remember I kept rubbing his back to get him to cry because of how nervous I still was from that last push.  I felt like hearing him cry was the reassurance I needed to know he was okay.

Daniel cut his umbilical cord, and he and I got to spend a few minutes just looking at him while the doctor worked on me.  I don’t even remember delivering the placenta and didn’t even feel it.  We were so focused on Rhett and each other.  It was such an amazing moment and the coolest thing Daniel and I have ever done together!  We couldn’t believe we made that little boy and how incredible God is for giving him to us!

Daniel went with Rhett to the warmer to get his weight and get him cleaned while my doctor stitched me up. I had a small, first degree tear which was probably due to the fact that I was in labor for so long and my body had tons of time to stretch.  They yelled out, “Eight pounds, even!” and my doctor looked up at me and asked if I still had any regrets about inducing him.  Absolutely not!  That was a plenty big enough baby for me…haha!

Because it was the middle of the night, all our visitors were home sleeping, and the only people there were my mom and dad.  My mom was in the room with Daniel and I when I delivered, but my dad was able to come in after and meet him.  It was such a special moment and one I will remember forever.

The whole experience was absolutely incredible and something I feel so privileged to have been able to do. I enjoyed pregnancy so much and was so worried I would miss it, but having him here is SO MUCH BETTER.  Daniel originally only wanted two kids, but we both agree that there’s no way we can only do that one more time.  It is so amazing and so much fun!

Pregnancy and birth is such a miracle and has me in complete awe of God, even more so now that I’ve personally experienced it!  We feel so blessed an honored to be Rhett’s parents and I can’t even believe I get to have him forever.  God is so, so good to me.

Rhett Daniel Denner | January 5, 2019 | 2:52 AM | 8 pounds | 21 inches

 

All birth photography and video was done by Abbi Cooley.