3 Tips for a Better Marriage

Hey friends, this is Daniel! For those of you that may not know me, I am Daryl-Ann’s baby daddy and Instagram husband.  Daryl-Ann and I have been talking a lot lately about incorporating more marriage content here on the blog, and so today we wanted to kick it off with three tips for a better marriage. I am no expert, but I did happen to land the most beautiful woman on this planet, so there’s that 😉.

Know your spouse’s love language

If you have not read it already, I highly recommend the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Champman. We all have ways that we feel loved, and this book narrows them down to five categories: quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts.  We tend to show love the way we feel loved and more likely than not we miss the boat because our spouse does not feel love in that same way.

For example: my love language is quality time. So being together for an uninterrupted evening and dinner speaks volumes of love to me. Since I feel loved this way, I may plan a date for Daryl-Ann completely focused on her, not answering my phone or being distracted by work. Although she may have a great time and feel loved to a certain degree, if her love language is not quality time, I have missed the boat.

Daryl-Ann’s love language is gifts. It does not matter how big or small the gift is.  It is more about the time and thought that I had to put in to it that makes her feel loved. So, as silly as it sounds if I stop by Chick-Fil-A and pick her up a Diet Coke and bring it to her at work she will feel so loved. I could plan her 30 dates with quality time and she will not feel as loved as when I brought her a silly Diet Coke.  Knowing and operating in your spouse’s love language is a key to a better marriage!

Kiss for ten seconds straight

I know that this sounds crazy, but try it. It may feel awkward at first like, “Are we really going to plan a make out session right now?,” but push through.  Nothing good comes out of comfort 😉.  You will be amazed at how your frustrations start to fade. It’s kind of hard to stay mad at your spouse while you are tongue-tied for ten seconds. Also, you will feel connected to your spouse. I am not claiming that this is complete magic, but I do believe that it brings perspective to our life. Sometimes with the busyness and problems of the day, we forget what matters at the end of the day. We forget what we are prioritizing over our marriages. While we do not do this everyday, I think it is great to implement into your routine.

Pro Tip: if your spouse’s love language is physical touch you just killed two birds with one stone 💁🏻‍♂️.

Invest in your marriage education

There are multiple ways that you can achieve this. One of the ways that Daryl-Ann and I like to do this is attend a marriage conference. This helps us grow together by listening to experts in their field. By doing this, we constantly improve ourselves and strengthen our marriage. This may look different for you. It may be reading a book on marriage, listening to podcasts, attending a marriage group, going to marriage counseling (no shame in this whatsoever! We have gone before and loved it), or doing a marriage devotional. The thing about this is it takes an investment. Whether it be money or time, making an investment in our marriage is one of the most important investments we can make.